Platform: Nintendo DS
Publisher: Square-Enix
Developer: Square-Enix
Zippers and Belts: OH YEAHHH
Type: Action RPG

So here we are with The World Ends With You the flag ship of Tetsuya Nomura’s love of zippers and belts. Well I would say that but Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy 10 pretty much win in that area. However, I will say that there is at least one WTF moment where the main character is like “I WISH I HAD MORE ZIPPERS” in which, if you know Nomura’s love of zippers, would see the absolute humor in that.

Of course, we’ve got some more stuff after the jump, unless you’re reading the full thing already which means SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH.

Hey, did you see that sentence there, yeah that one. There you go there is the review. If you get the culture of Japan, if you get where this game comes from, if you can get the jokes then you can get the game. The story will merge into your advanced mind that has trained on figuring out what the fusk went in on Final Fantasy 7. If you’re not into that stuff then you’ll be stuck trying to figure out what’s going on, but that’s fine, because it’s still a fun action RPG.

The inside jokes account for most of the story. The tale of a shut-in who only listens to music and people obsessed with fashion in the fake Shibuya. The opening up to the world. The love between two characters who barely know one another. The inside memories, the unfair fights, the mystical cryptic talking, and well everything else you can find in Kingdom Hearts except without Goofy being all really creepy on you. Why is he even a character in the game? Why can’t you get other humans? Why do you go around fighting with GOOFY along side of you? Donald is bad enough, but he’s a pretty smart duck if you ask me.

Well the story is pretty good, as I said, if you can get into it. The combat is really good as well, but managing the bottom and the top parts are difficult and grind is the name of the game. You’ll be grinding more monsters than Mario grinds mushrooms just to get enough Yen to buy some fashionable clothes or level up. You also either have to play at the lowest level possible or at a really high level, except for bosses, which are going to kick your butt no matter what. If you don’t mind repetitive gameplay against monsters that have the same sprites and are really slow in the head then well this game is for you.

Music. Why do reviews go into music? Well because there isn’t a lot to talk about without spoiling an entire story. The music is really good until you’re stuck on your 4th hour of grinding just to beat the smirk off some kids face in Tin Pin Slammer or to beat some stupid boss. There is also a lot of repetitive tasks and a confusing world until you get a hang of all of it.

So, story, gameplay, music, what else? Oh, yes the Grim Heaper. Characters! Yeah, they’re nothing special. The main star is an emo kid who grows out of being emo like every Hikki in Japan wants to do… wait hold on we have an advertisement real quick…

It’s not too late to change your hikikomori ways! Just as a brief reminder.

Anyway it’s pretty bleh. I won’t spoil the girl for you, but she was a surprise. Beat is pretty stupid. The bosses are kinda lame. Joshua is well, err, well he wants Neku that’s for sure. The Grim Heaper is an amazing character because guess what…

YOU’RE SO ZETTA SLOW

For not playing the game and reading this far. Seriously, why even listen to me ramble on about buying it. You know you want it. You’re this far into a review about it. You’ve reached over 500 words to hear my unyielding opinion on it. Well, ok here you go.

Do you wake up and log into Deviant Art to look at the latest Kingdom Hearts pairings?

Is Fantasy Fantasy X the pinnacle of console gaming to you, only beat out by Kingdom Hearts?

Do you own an Nintendo DS?

Do you want to play Kingdom Hearts 3, but without goofy?

If you answer yes to any of these questions go out and get it.

If you’re a normal person then, well, I can only tell you do what you want to do. It’s an alright game, the combat is fun but it’s only a novelty. It gets stale and pins get really confusing. If you want to catch ‘em all then you’ve got your work cut out for you.

I hate number scales, but opinions seem for some reason to need a number attached to them so here you go:

4.0/5.0

One point taken off for the lack of zippers and belts. Another point taken off for the boring gameplay and the grinding. A point given for the game acknowledging the need for more zippers and belts.

That’s a review folks.

SO ZETTA SLOW

SO ZETTA SLOW

INFINITY

The grim heaper is like the only character that is so amazing it makes you just dream about him daily. Seriously.

PERSON MAN IS ZETTA SLOW

One thing that is curious is that for all the fanboyism, The World Ends With You does not have a lot of YouTube following. You look up Code Geass and you’re going to be raeped with videos. TWEWY isn’t that popular with the kids huh?

Let’s mix the Nintendo DS with some wonderful and lovely Toradora:

There that makes up for the pain of the past two.

Even though, really, YOU’RE SO ZETTA SLOW.